Why I Feel Like Giving-up on Writing

I've been a huge supporter of self-published writers for years now. I love self-publishing, I love to self-publish and I created the #IndieBookGoal2018 challenge to encourage people to read more indie and self-published books.

But it would be a lie to say that I don't occasionally get jaded by the process and lately I've been starting to feel depressed by the state of self-publishing.

The reality is, as much as I love indie books, there are too many of them. The market is flooded. There are a lot of junk indie books out there -- and not that they haven't always existed, but there's so many more now -- and while there are also still some great books, it's so much harder for them to find an audience.

For me, the hardest thing is looking at the sales of my newest release, Unearthed After Sunset. And sure, I've been selling books, I've gained some great reviews, but I put in probably twice the effort to advertise this book than I did with my debut novel Into the Deep in 2012, and have had half the response as I did with that book. This is incredibly disheartening, especially since I know how much my writing and my storytelling ability has grown over the past six years.

I used to feel like even if I never got rich writing that it was possible to make enough money to make the expenses worth it. That, if nothing else, I could reach readers. More and more I feel like writing a good book and putting in the hard work just aren't enough.

It's starting to feel like this isn't worth it.

To spend months crafting a story. Editing. Reworking. Tearing it apart and putting it back together. Creating a cover. Setting up promotions. Advertising. Countless hours of work, and love, and pain...and to have it all fall flat...

I've always felt like writing was like breathing like I could never give it up.

But, lately, low sales and being upside down in my budget has sucked all the inspiration out of me.

I don't think this is the end. Even now, feeling like I want to give up I've turned to writing about this to get me through it.

I hope this is just another bump in the road.

I hope I figure out some new tactics in this crazy publishing world. Or, hell, maybe I'll start querying agents. Or, maybe I'll just say to hell with making money and start posting all my books on Wattpad. Or, maybe this is all just crazy ramblings and I'll keep going like I always have.

I don't know. Maybe things will change, maybe they won't. But writing and being a self-published author is a crazy rollercoaster of a ride and I'm not getting off just yet.


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